Ever been a teenager? Hmm… such an out-of-pocket question, isn’t it? Can you remember when you were 12, 13, or 16? Life was a lot different and, for some, simpler. Today’s youth have everything they need at their fingertips, literally.
However, it is not simpler. It is actually more challenging. With the world view made accessible through social media, comparison and high expectations from others just got harder. Can you imagine walking their journey 10, 15, or even 30 years ago? Some of us would have a struggle. No wonder anxiety and depression are at their peak.
As a professional counselor who works with this age group, a professor of young adults, and a mother of three young adults, I get a daily panoramic view of their struggles. But I only see the outward perspective. I hear the inner conflicts and self-judgements. They are hurting, confused, and striving to find their identity, all the while trying their best to meet the high standards and expectations of parents, teachers, and let’s not forget, their peer circles. That is a loaded challenge in and of itself.
I remember a conversation with our middle daughter when she was about 8 years old. I asked her, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” She said, “I didn’t know I had to be anything but myself.”
Wow! What a perspective.
When does it shift? The free thinking of being ourselves to the constricted expectation of being something for everyone else. This begins early when a child recognizes the emotion of disappointment. Parents, teachers, and friends all influence the making of identity. It is crucial for our words to bring life and not death. There must be a balance of love and truth when encouraging a young person on their life’s journey. They seek guidance, protection, and a genuine, honest connection.
It is sad to say that today’s world delivers a distorted message that shapes the ways of thinking, emotions, and responses for many.
So, for those of us who are older, wiser, and more experienced, what can we do to be part of the solution and not part of the problem?
- Give grace.
- Model what you want to see. We cannot expect a change in someone if we cannot model it ourselves. Give them a road map.
- Provide encouragement that builds character and integrity.
- Be there when they fail and help them learn from mistakes.
- Don’t judge. Don’t speak with harsh words or tone.
You may be the only truth they see, make sure it is something worth duplicating.
About the Author: Jennifer Goodson, MA, LMHC, CAGCS is a licensed mental health counselor with a private practice in Winter Haven, Florida. She is also a Professor of Psychology at Warner University in Lake Wales and a transformational speaker committed to promoting emotional and mental well-being. Jennifer holds a Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia. To learn more, visit www.pathwaycounselingservice.com.