by JENNIFER GOODSON, MA, LMHC
We have all experienced it and may have even done it ourselves at some point. When the children aren’t listening, after a stressful day, it can be frustrating to repeatedly ask our child to stop certain behaviors. As a result, our emotions can escalate, leading to visible agitation and frustration, which can leave a lasting impact on our child.
As parents, we are the most influential role models in our children’s lives. The way we speak, act, and react is what they learn from. We are modeling behavior that they will either learn from or be afraid of. This realization should empower us to be the best version of ourselves for our children.
We have taken lessons from our parents and applied them in our parenting or learned what not to do with our children early on.
Our words and responses have a lasting impact on our children’s lives. As they begin to develop, we will become their inner voice. As adults, they will continue to hear either praise and encouragement or criticism and judgment.
What do you want your child to hear before bedtime and in the morning?
There are several reasons we have reached a state of dysregulation in our home, leading to chaos. The following tips can help you redirect, restructure, and start the school year fresh and peaceful.
- Creating a structured routine is not just about discipline, it’s about providing a sense of security and predictability for your children. A predictable morning and evening routine, along with a daily routine chart, can reassure them and make them feel safe. This should give you confidence in your parenting strategies.
- Create a dedicated and personalized homework area at home, within your reach, for each child.
- Get the family organized by creating a shared calendar and to-do list that everyone can access and contribute to!
- End your day on a positive note by completing a checklist that everyone can mark off.
- Don’t forget to set a timer to boost their productivity!
- Don’t forget to make time for rest and relaxation. That goes for mom and dad, too!
Here are some helpful tips for improving communication and creating a safe environment for your child:
- Avoid putting labels on your child.
- Always communicate with your children respectfully.
- Each child is unique and special in their own way, so avoid comparing them to one another or to children outside the family.
- Do not yell at your children before bedtime or in the morning; your behavior sets the tone for their sleep and the following day.
- Do not repeat yourself when instructing your child. Give the instruction once, make eye contact and repeat, if necessary, then give a consequence if needed.
Be mindful of your choice of words when offering encouragement to your children.
- I am so proud of you.
- I believe in you.
- Mistakes happen. It’s okay. Let’s try it again.
- You belong here.
- Your feelings matter.
- I love spending time with you.
I understand that it can be challenging for both children and parents to adjust to new schedules. It’s important to prioritize peace in the home for the well-being of everyone, both in mind and spirit, and to encourage positive development and learning. Creating a community of support will aid during the adjustment process.
Let’s begin the new school year strong!
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Goodson, MA, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor with an office in Winter Haven, FL. She holds a Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia. For more information, visit www.pathwaycounselingservice.com.
