We have all had that thought: “Life was so much easier as a kid!” No responsibilities, no bills, and no heavy relationships except for sharing (or not sharing) in the sandbox. Wow! When did it change? Eighth or 12th grade, college away from home, the first job that paid for the first car, or our first reality check that we are responsible for another human?
Life suddenly got serious when responsibility, obligation, accountability, and dependency came into the picture. We grow up so fast, and within a nanosecond, we have all this “stuff” in our laps. For some, these responsibilities and obligations started at an early age due to various circumstances. For others, it started right after our parents handed us the car insurance bill and said, “Your turn.”
The roles we play in this life are no different. However, we can pick and choose some of these — some we can ignore or respond to, and some we take on because no one else will.
Regardless of the roles we play or the responsibilities we carry with us, each of us influences others. Whether positive or negative, we hold monumental, life-changing impacts in the words we say, the behaviors we model, and the choices we make. So, we could say we are responsible for shaping today’s culture.
Sure, we could pass it on to the next guy, who looks, acts, or talks like he is more adequate. But what if … just what if … we are the only ones who can reach that person. What if we are the only one that one person will listen to or trust?
What then? We’ve passed the buck, shrugged our shoulders, and walked away with no second thought of how someone’s life has missed out on something great we carry. Yes, we have something someone else needs; big or small does not matter. Only we can give. Why else would we be here? We have a purpose. We have the power to influence a life.
Yet we have so many things that berate us that tear us down, from our jobs or employers, partners, children, parents, or siblings. It’s the words we heard when we were a child that we weren’t good enough, smart enough, strong enough. Yes, we even allow our past to shake our worth. We entertain it, play the movie script in our head, and allow it to dictate how we love others, speak to others, and treat others.
Self-worth is recognizing “I am greater than all of those things.” It is a deep knowing that I am of value, that I am loveable, necessary to this life, and of incomprehensible worth.” (Hibbert, 2013)
This is what I want you to grasp, if anything: I firmly believe that to recognize self-worth in ourselves, we must see it in others. We must be a part of showing someone it is present within them.
So how do we stop the cycle and stop listening to the lie that we are not enough? How do we show someone else something we cannot see within ourselves?
Stop entertaining the negative. Stop giving POWER to it. Just stop!
How?
Oh, this is where it gets good. It is so simple, so hold on.
If we want to feel worthy, we must mirror it.
- Begin to speak simple words to others that bring hope, security, and love. These bring the lifelong change element that is the foundation of self-worth.
- Spend the time. Invest in others not with monetary means but with time. This strengthens and develops the inner core of self and guides the ship on the journey of becoming.
- Prefer others above ourselves, and have the desire to see someone else succeed.
As we begin to pour into others what we need for ourselves, we will see the void filled not only in someone’s life but also in ours.
Embrace your worth by showing someone else theirs.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Jennifer Goodson, MA, LMHC, is a licensed mental health counselor with an office in Winter Haven, FL. She holds a Master of Arts in Clinical Mental Health Counseling from Regent University in Virginia Beach, Virginia. For more information, visit www.pathwaycounselingservice.com.